Bad thoughts one night

 

I apologise for this post, but on Thursday December 23rd I was feeling very depressed, and so wrote this.  It was how I was feeling at the time though.

This is one reason why I was holding back on posting my blog, because I wasn’t sure about this one. I’ve decided to do so. 

I get this way sometimes…

Thursday December 23rd 2021 - 

Actually I think I’m punishing myself by listening to podcasts from people who are obviously having a much better time on the planet than I am, and are obviously very lucky.

“Find an hour to…”

“Wake up at the same time every morning…”

“Deep sleep is the best…”

I am a night worker, who works a minimum of 12 hours per night.  I travel for around an hour each way for work, unless I break speed limits and make it quicker, so that I can try and get a better sleep.

I sleep in the daytime, and basically do the same on the days off because otherwise I would possibly fall asleep driving a work vehicle for that length of time and then driving my own car for two hours.

Even before we moved, they were shitty hours!

At the earliest I finish at 7:30am on a Friday after a Thursday night shift, and have to be back for 5pm. 

At that time on a Friday morning it actually takes me until between ten to and ten past nine to get home, and then it takes me until around 10am to fall asleep, only to get up at 2:30pm, in order to leave home at 4pm to get to work.

Even when I lived nearer to where I work, I would get home on a Friday for 8am, and be asleep for around nine, and then get up at 3pm. Around six hours of sleep if I was lucky, and quite often I wasn’t - literally in the town centre just off the market place, and noisy as hell, having to wear earplugs all of the time, and then when I was awake replacing them with a hands free earpiece for work - my right ear would have something inserted into it for around 20 hours per day, for five days a week. 

Has it changed? 

It has, but I should probably go back to using the earpieces, because I’m waking up for no apparent reason very often. 

Another irritation is people talking about their Christmas break from work.

I don’t get those in this job, and I’m sick of it.

I actually like Christmas, unlike my brother Richard who is “a cotton-headed ninny muggins!” 

We should swap because I think he gets the time off that I would so love to have every year. 

I’m sat typing this when I should be working, but I don’t give a shit!